Jake on Jobs

My (ridiculous) Inter-Generational Web Series

I recently had the opportunity to work with some very funny and talented people on a new web series called “The Offseason”.  The show is about four dysfunctional college football coaches who are desperate to improve their careers and their team (in that order).  The url for the series is www.youtube.com/offseasonshow.  I hope you enjoy it.

 

  

 

A Lesson from My Worst Public Speaking Experience

In the fall of 2007, just over three months before Whoa, My Boss is Naked was published, I was given the opportunity to speak at a college 3 hours away from my house.  I was really excited about it.  Throughout the summer I had been reaching out to college career centers in order to drum up interest for my book and find audiences on which to hone my keynote material. When this particular college (which shall remain nameless) expressed interest, I jumped at the chance to address their students (for free). 

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The guy who booked me - let’s call him “Professor Dupe” - sounded really enthusiastic on the phone.  I was just what the students needed, he said.  They were nearing their mid-terms and my pop culture-infused career advice would provide them with a nice change of pace. Dupe penciled me in for a 30-minute presentation. 

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Upon arriving at the school three weeks later, I was surprised to discover that the “satellite campus” was actually a converted dentists’ office located in the shadow of a strip mall.  When I checked in with the office staff, I was even more surprised to discover that Professor Dupe was out of town and, in his haste to pack, had failed to mention to ANYONE that I existed.

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At this point, another instructor at the school (who had been eavesdropping from the hallway while attempting to dislodge a reluctant Honey Bun from the vending machine) ducked her head into the office and suggested that I speak to her Business class.  Given the way things were shaping up, it probably would have been wise to politely decline her offer, grab some cheap tacos to-go from the strip mall, and head back home.  Unfortunately, I was done in by her eloquent flattery (“sounds neat’) and my own desire to salvage the day.

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It is important to note that my presentation material was geared toward vaguely ambitious early-‘20s college graduates who had grown up watching cable television in the ‘80s and ‘90s.

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There were roughly 12 people in the Business class.  Their median age was roughly 42.  Several did not speak English.  My surprise presentation meant that there would be no cigarette break.  I opened with a joke about “The Bachelor”.  I did not get a rose.

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The next 20 minutes were more awkward than slow dancing in junior high (and involved less eye contact).  I don’t want to get into the blow-by-blow details of the presentation but I will tell you that the first question posed during Q&A was “We ain’t gonna get tested on this stuff, right?”  All the students were visibly relieved when I told them that they wouldn’t be responsible for retaining anything I had said.

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This was my test, not theirs.

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I learned several valuable lessons during my awkward afternoon at Dupe’s College of Chain-Smoking, but one stood out:

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PRESENTATIONS MUST BE NIMBLE

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As a speaker, you need to be prepared to change your script.  Sometimes the mood and make-up of the audience is different than you had expected (as was the case at Dupe’s).  Venue variables like technical difficulties, awkward spaces, lighting, and acoustics often come into play as well.  You need to be able to adjust your style to fit the event. 

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Preparing a nimble presentation means over-preparing.  Develop back up material (anecdotes, jokes, visuals, statistics) that you can utilize to enhance your presentation on the fly. 

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Read audiences, not note cards.

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Finally, don’t allow yourself to be fazed by a hostile or apathetic audience.  Never let ‘em see you sweat…even if they’re allowed to bring firearms to class.

10 Not-So-New Year's Resolutions

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions on January 1.  I’m too amped up, too emotionally charged.  Making promises on the morning after New Year’s Eve is like making group vacation plans at a high school reunion (“Dude, I miss you guys.  We should all go to Thailand next year…I mean it.  Who’s down?”). Your heart is crushing the breakfast buffet but there’s still a “Do Not Disturb” sign hanging on your brain.

In order for resolutions to stick, the brain needs at least two weeks to conduct due diligence – to separate promises made in the moment (“My head hurts. I am not gonna drink all year”) from those with real staying power.

With that in mind, here are my ten Not-So-New Year’s Resolutions for 2010:

1. I will dedicate more time to volunteer work.

2. I will not edit my professional goals and aspirations to make them more achievable.

3. I will read eight books for pleasure.

4. I will give dinner parties a chance.

5. I will develop lasting relationships with three new business mentors.

6. I will surprise at least one friend or family member with an unannounced out-of-state visit.

7. I will stretch more often and improve at the sit-and-reach.

8. I will write something five days/week.

9. I will learn to accept and enjoy one new pizza topping.

10. I will take more pictures (but I will not post them all on Facebook).

What are your Not-So-New Year's Resolutions?

Hollywood, Music City, and Social Rounding

Los Angeles and Nashville are both entertainment industry towns.  LA has movie studios.  Nashville has music studios.  Star sightings at Starbucks are common occurrences in both cities.  Waiters and bartenders work for small tips and big dreams…. You get it.

In Music City, as in Hollywood, perception is paramount and image is everything.  However, the images crafted by aspiring country artists would get them laughed out of Los Angeles (and vice-versa).  The reason: Social Rounding.  In LA, people round up. In Nashville, they round down.

What does this mean?  Here are some examples:

• In Los Angeles, I have heard a second-floor apartment referred to as “My Penthouse.”
• In Nashville, I have heard a $75,000 luxury SUV referred to as “My Truck.”
• On "MTV Cribs" wannabe superstars fill their refrigerators with Cristal and expect us to believe that they drink it on a regular basis.
• On "CMT Cribs" carb-conscious songbirds fill their refrigerators with Miller High Life and expect us to believe that they drink it on a regular basis.
• In LA, people name-drop famous directors they haven’t spoken to in 20 years.
• In Nashville, people name-drop quaint hometowns they haven’t visited in 20 years.

In LA, people lie to sound important. In Nashville, they lie to sound authentic.   

Unfortunately, social rounding in Nashville and LA extends well beyond the entertainment industry.  Young people who are trying to make it in business often adopt the rounding style of their celebrities.  Contrary to what TMZ and CMT would have you believe, social rounding will not help your career.  Rounding up your resume is a desperate (and often transparent) move.  Rounding down with false modesty during interviews comes off as arrogant.

No matter where you live, you can’t afford to compromise your career with social rounding (unless your goal is to stay connected to your folksy roots by living in your parents’ subterranean penthouse).

Business Owner Tweets About His Day, Wonders Why Nobody Cares

Over the past couple years, many business owners have been hesitant to embrace social media because of the perception that Facebook, Twitter, etc. are full of useless social updates.

“OMG, the mall is so crowded.”

“Got to work late, already dreaming of lunch.”

Execs didn’t want to waste time sifting through unproductive “here’s what happened to me today” tweets.  Those updates weren’t going to help them build their brands or drive revenue.

Here’s where the irony kicks in.

After a year of positive press for social media, many of those skeptical business owners are finally dipping their toes in the Twitter pool…and posting “here’s what happened to me today” updates.

“Our company is having a sale”

“Take a look at our website”

“We are hosting an event. Click here to buy a ticket.”

These posts are just as self-centered and unproductive as the “OMG” tweets.

Productivity on Twitter stems from conversation, not declaration.  To be successful, businesses must embrace the “social” in social networking by seeking out like-minded individuals and organizations, then engaging them in PUBLIC CONVERSATIONS.

“Re-Tweets” trump “Me Tweets”.

Gen Y Set to Turn 30, Confusion Set to Ensue

I am about to turn 30.  Like many members of the Pop Culture Generation, this advancement in age has me confused, anxious, and curious.  Gotta face the facts - I'm a different guy than I was right after college.  Not better, not worse, just different.

I spoke about several differences between "early-20's me" and "30-year-old me" a recent conference...

 

 

Ideas for the Creative and Unfulfilled

Many young professionals lie awake at night, convinced that our creative talents are being stifled.  Our lives have become too formulaic and we feel as though our energy is being zapped by uncreative careers. 

The “lie awake” phase is not healthy.  The lack of sleep is not healthy.  The frustration is not healthy. The subsequent cycle of food, alcohol, and infomercials is not healthy.

So, how do we shake it? How do we find something to think about in bed that’s more inspiring our own self-pity and recycled episodes of “Real Chance at Love”?  

I have a few ideas.

1. Stop Whining (to yourself).  When we focus on self-pity, it’s more difficult to brainstorm and generate ideas, kind of like trying to accelerate with the parking brake on.

2. Make Something. 

3. Work harder to incorporate creativity into your existing job or activities (note: this will likely require you to put in some OT)

4. Find your people.  Take a class, look for discussion forums online, or get in touch with someone you know who does creative things.  The more you surround yourself with creative people, the easier it is to complete a creative project. 

5. Make Your Something Better.  Editing (or redesigning) separates productive creativity from casual creativity.  Critiques, rejections, and amendments are essential.

Who has your dream job and why haven't you emailed him/her/them yet?

When most people think about career moves, they consider what is immediately available or achievable. However, if the goal is to build a career that is energizing and enjoyable, people should think in terms of what they want, regardless of immediate accessibility.

Instead of building your career path based upon what's available now, why not start with your dream job and work backwards? 

With that in mind, who has your dream job and why haven't you emailed them yet?

(note: I initially posted this as a question on Linkedin)

Cruising the Streets vs. Surfing the Net

I don’t get “cruising”.

I live in the middle of a city, near a lot of bars and clubs. Every weekend, those bars and clubs are full of people drinking, dancing, and listening to music. I get that. I do that.

What I don’t get is why, every weekend, the city streets are clogged by drivers who circle the block like extras from the set of The Truman Show.  Literally hundreds of drivers (+crew) spend all night cruising (slowly and loudly), cat-calling and, singing off-key in my neighborhood.

Cruising makes no sense to me.  First off, it’s a financial waste. Given the cost of gas, it would be cheaper to park and walk around.  Second, it’s like fishing without bait. Not once in five years have I seen a woman respond to a car full of cruisers by saying: “What? You think I have a fat booty?  Aren’t you sweet? Can my girls and I hop in your Grand Am?”

 

Last weekend, while the cruising line was preventing me from reaching my parking garage, I realized something - The way I feel about cruising is similar to the frustrations baby boomers have with social networking. 

Consider the similarities:

1.     In both cases, more traffic beats less traffic
2.     Both involve the sharing of seemingly meaningless life details (such as what you are doing, listening to, thinking at that moment, etc.) with crowds of people.
3.     More often than not the communication is one-way. More of an announcement than a meaningful conversation.
 

That said, there are several glaring differences between the two pursuits:
 
1.     Social networking can lead to new business/professional opportunities (legal ones)
2.     Social networking is an efficient way to stay connected with a large group of friends, family, and colleagues (past and present).
3.     Unlike cruising, social networking has an “ignore” option.

Bottom Line: social networking is only like cruising if people fail to take the time to learn how to do it correctly.
 
 

My prediction of the month – The Beatles version of Rock Band will be the gateway drug that gets Boomers hooked on new media.

Marines Ban Social Networks. Will Corporate America Be Next?

The Few. The Proud. The Isolated.

Yesterday, CNN.com reported that The Marines have banned Facebook, Twitter, and several other social networking sites.  The justification is that the networks are a “proven haven for malicious actors”, and that the possibility of passing along “unnecessary information to adversaries” is too great.

Sabotage and Exposure. 

Coincidentally, sabotage and exposure are also the two greatest social networking fears for senior executives in Corporate America.  Many corner office Boomers, reluctant to engage in social networking at home, don’t want to risk losing company secrets or employee productivity to Twitter and “The Facebook”. 

I am not a military expert.  If the Marines think that social networking is a liability, I’m not about to argue. I assume they are acting prudently.  On the other hand, when senior execs claim that social networks do more harm than good to their organizations, I assume they are acting like prudes.

Step away from the military metaphors and stay connected, people.  I know it’s not easy because Corporate America LOVES military metaphors.  But, you shouldn’t act on a potential liability until you also understand the potential opportunity. Or, to put it another way, scared money don’t make money.

Organizations that adopt defensive “wait until this stuff is mission-critical” attitudes are going to be left in the dust.  If businesses don’t take the time to understand and explore Web 2.0, what’s going to happen when the world moves to 3.0?  4.0? 

Put down your guns and go make some friends.